PRESSING TOWARD THE MARK OF TITUS 2

        

     Let me start by saying I am not trying to convince someone to stay home. I am only trying to give encouragement to those who are already doing it. Motivated by Titus chapter 2, I have been a homemaker all of my married life. I believe that the scripture teaches that mothers are to be in charge of the training of the children and keeping the house. (Proverbs 29:15 1 Tim. 5:14) I have been a full-time home maker while my husband was in college as a married student, while he has pastored small rural churches, and while we were in full-time evangelism, and before all that when he was just a commercial painter.
        Even before we married, my husband and I resolved that we would do whatever it took for me to be a full-time wife and mother. It is not just something we decided haphazardly. We knew that it would be a commitment, but God would give us the grace and resources. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. Ask my husband if it was easy for him to work two part-time jobs and run a paper route (which would count as a third) while he also attended college in order to provide for his wife and baby son who were at home. I am so thankful to the Lord for giving me a man who has that kind of courage and diligence. There were many times that we stayed up all night so he could get a term paper hand-written to me so I could type it out on a word processor just in time for him to rush to class and turn it in. Throughout our life together, when funds were low, he would do fencing, concrete, roofing or whatever work he could find to provide for our family. 
        You see my husband never said, "I wish we could afford for my wife to stay home with the kids." Nor did I ever make such a statement. Considering our visible possessions, people may have thought that we could not afford for me to stay home. It has nothing to do with that. It has to do with what one is willing to do to make it happen. For us it was a choice and a commitment to God. It wasn't always easy for us to be so frugal with our finances. But it is possible for families to live on one income. It is possible, if a true desire is there, for a young mother to stay home and rear her own children. You just have to learn to live on less. You have to learn to be frugal. You don't have to keep up with the Jones. The Jones are probably up to their eyeballs in dept. 
        My husband and I took the responsibility of parenting seriously. We knew that when we brought a child into this world that child would be an eternal soul that would spend eternity in Heaven or Hell. Deuteronomy 6:6-9 is where God described to the Jewish parents their responsibility of training their children to honor God and His word. I believe that scripture is an example to us New Testament believers of how we are to diligently train our children. How can we speak to our children of the things of God as often as we should if we aren't with them? I said earlier it has nothing to do with being able to afford staying at home. It also has to do with trust in God's faithfulness to provide. He is Jehovahjireh. I would love to tell you of the many times our Jehovahjireh came through for us. I will tell you a few. Like the time we were out of groceries, so I mixed a few tortilla chips, some leftover beans, etc. and mixed it up and called it a casserole. We thanked the Lord for it, ate it, and asked the Lord to meet our need for more groceries. That afternoon a man from Thomas Road Baptist Church knocked on our door with several bags full of groceries. We had not asked anyone but God. I couldn't wait for Tony to get home that day so I could show him what the Lord had done. 
        Another thing God did: my husband was about to graduate, and a class ring company was at Liberty University taking orders. My husband was wishfully looking at the brochure. Then the lady told him they were giving out coupons for discounts on the rings, and one "lucky" person would actually get a coupon for a free ring up to a $600 value. While my husband tried to figure out which of the cheaper, even fake gold, rings we could afford, several customers came, got their discount coupons, placed their orders and went. Finally, my husband picked up his coupon, the lady swished it with the special marker that revealed the discount. Well, Lo! and Behold! The revealed message said, "Free ring $600 value!" She told him, and he said, "Well, then, give me the best you got!" So she showed him the executive design, genuine gold with 4 diamonds. I was thrilled when Tony called me to tell me that. It was either my birthday or my spiritual birthday that day. I can't remember; it's been 20 something years. I could not have gotten a better birthday present from the Lord than to see my deserving husband get blessed like that. It wasn't "luck", it was God. He still wears that ring very proudly. There's nothing wrong with bragging on God. He is worthy of our praise. I could go on and on about how God has provided our needs and many wants through the years. 
        If you are a young mother already being a keeper at home, and maybe your curtain climbers are small and driving you nuts sometimes, be encouraged, things will get better. And just in case you feel that you are not doing anything important, remember, "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." You could be training up the next Charles Spurgeon, or the  doctor who will discover a cure for cancer, or the president of the United States, etc. Motherhood is a worthy career.
        Here are just some ways to stretch your income, whether you are a one or two income family:

1. Learn to cut hair.
2. Make your own birthday cakes. If you get good enough it could become a home business.
3. Make lunches instead of buying.
4. Grow your own veggies.
5. Learn to do your own hair coloring (if you color.)
6. Use a clothes line.
7. Learn to coupon.
8. File your own taxes.
9. Make and sell homemade jellies.
10. If you are crafty, make something and sell it at a local flea market.
11. Make your own cleaners instead of buying.
12. Shop at thrift stores.
13. Buy off season clothing. You can save boocoodles! (Is that a word?)

Leave a comment about things you do to stretch your income. I know there are some great frugality ideas out there.

Blessings!

Lisa

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Flitch Day: A Celebration of Fidelity and Harmony in Marriage

Blessings,

Lisa

How to Get the Kids to Do Chores

Well, I'm no expert, but I can tell you what I have observed. When my children were small it seemed I was evermore trying this system and that system trying to get and keep the house clean and organized. I tried to let the kids do what they could. I have found that children are eager to help. Our photo albums have pictures of our children standing on chairs as they washed dishes or helped make biscuits. They didn't always do it like I did, but I tried to let them learn and commended them as much as I could. Sometimes I had to ask them to do something over if it was really a bad job, like a super wrinkledy "made" bed and such. They would help fold clothes, starting with wash cloths (the easiest). Then they moved on to dish and hand towels and bath towels and eventually clothes, etc. The fact is chores are a great way to train children. Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child..." Training is not a quick and easy process. It involves a great deal of time and devotion. I guess that is why the Lord dealt with me to be a full-time home maker. Many times I felt like a failure, but I kept on trying. I guess all that failure and trying worked. My kids are all grown, and none of them are lazy, and all of them are trying to serve the Lord. I can't take the credit though, it was the Lord's grace that helped me to keep trying. So how do you get kids to do chores? Start early when it's fun to them and when it's not fun anymore, just keep trying!

The Sober-Minded Woman

The following is a devotion I taught at a ladies meeting. Hope it is a blessing to you.

(Controlling our emotions rather than letting them control us)

Intro:
If we live dictated by our emotions we will be on an emotional roller coaster all the time because our emotions so often respond to our surroundings and experiences. And we’ll be down more than up on that roller coaster because Job 14:1 Man that is born of a woman is of few days, and full of trouble.

What does it mean to be Sober-minded? 1)To be in one’s right mind as opposed to being drunk; 2)to be of a sound mind; 3)fully aware of what’s going on, even watchful.

Why should we be sober-minded? We are commanded in the Bible.

Tit 2:1-6 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:
2 That the aged men be SOBER, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be SOBER, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
6 Young men likewise exhort to be SOBER MINDED.

1Pe 1:13 Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be SOBER, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;

Being Sober-minded could make us healthier.

In the book Deadly Emotions, Dr. Don Colbert (also a Christian) tells how emotions can cause stress and can lead to Medical problems.

Stress Related Health Problems:
Heart diseases
Stomach and Digestive problems
Migraines
Skin Conditions
Urinary and Reproductive problems
Pain and Inflammation
Lung and Breathing Problems
Cancer
And Illnesses involving Brain function such as depression

Harmful Chemicals are released when we are stressed.

Movies – Your mind responds to danger and releases the same chemicals as if you were really in danger.

We can become addicted to certain hormones released in the body when we are stressed – like Adrenalin from Fear.

Emotions can be good. Fear may protect us from real dangers. Snakes……..spiders.
Or they can make us do silly things.

Dr. James Dobson tells this story in his book “Emotions Can You Trust Them”: Dr. Dobson’s parents having learned of the killings by Charles Manson and his cohorts were lying in bed one night and heard a noise in the other room. They both got out of bed and went to the bedroom door. Mrs. Dobson threw one foot and all her weight against the door to prevent the intruder. Mr. Dobson intending to investigate the situation tried to pull the door open to go check out the situation. So there they were struggling against each other – She’s thinking the killer’s on the other side of the door trying to get in. And he thinks the intruder is holding the door from the other side trapping them both inside the bedroom. Mrs. Dobson finally lets go running to the window to scream for help, and Mr. Dobson goes through the house looking for their attacker. There really was no one in the house but them. The noises were never explained, and Charles Manson did not come. I’m sure they laugh about that now, but think of the fear they must have experienced even though there was no real danger.

How can we be sober-minded women?

I. Feast on the Scriptures. Eph 4:23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; Romans 12:2 “…be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind…”

2Co 10:4-5 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

Php 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

When we study and read the Word of God regularly, we will think properly and not get so overwhelmed by events in our life.

Here’s an Itemized list of some emotions or feelings and what the Bible says about them.

1. Anger or wrath- Eph 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: 27 Neither give place to the devil.
2. Bitterness - Eph 4:31-32 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Notice the progression! Bitterness, wrath anger produces clamour, and evil speaking.
3. Hate – 1Jo 4:20-21 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.
4. Fear – We all have sense enough to fear things that will harm us (spiders, snakes, a mack truck, lightning) But we shouldn’t fear everything. 2Ti 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
5. Lust - 1Pe 2:11 Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;
6. Worry - Php 4:6-7 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
7. Guilt – Hey sometimes we are guilty and experience true guilt called conviction or remorse. If not for Guilt and conviction we felt, we would not have been saved. But the Devil tries to cause false guilt, just a feeling that we can never be right with God. Joh 5:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.
8. Embarrassment – We have to have some shame. We should have enough to cover our bodies. But we can’t go around self-conscious all the time worrying about what someone else thinks about us. Pr 11:2 When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom.
9. Grief - Isa 53:3-4 Jesus was “a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief:…” “ borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows…”
10. Depression - I realize there is a real medical condition that requires medication, but I’m talking here about those low times that we all have from time to time. We can’t just give up every time we get a little down. Ps 71:20 Thou, which hast shewed me great and sore troubles, shalt quicken me again, and shalt bring me up again from the depths of the earth..
11. Loneliness –Heb. 13:5 “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”
12. Pride - Ro 12:3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
13. Inferiority - Php 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
14. Discouragement - Ga 6:9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

The reason for all the scripture is to show that if we’ll just get into the Word, God will use it to help us overcome our emotions. If we could train ourselves to let emotions be a signal to turn to God and his word, how much more fulfilled our lives would be.

II. Filled with the Spirit
Eph 5:18-21 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

III. Fruit of the Spirit
The Holy Spirit produces the Fruit of the Spirit instead of emotional reactions.

Ga 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

These should be our response to the circumstances we face – not reacting or “off the cuff”

Taking this spirit-controlled approach to life we will be functioning as a scholar – demonstrating mastery in the situation rather than being mastered.
IV. Function as a Scholar
A scholar is someone who has studied until they have gained mastery in a certain area.
We need to study the Word of God and do the works therein.
Jas 1:22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.




Biblical Examples of Emotionally Controlled and Sober-Minded Women

Emotionally Controlled
Pr 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

Example of a Sober Minded Woman: Proverbs 31:12 & 26
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

Conclusion
Feelings come and go often effected by the circumstances in our lives. Consider this quote by a modern day hero in the faith .

So many of us want to feel victorious, but let me tell you something. Our feelings are the shallowest part of our nature. Salvation is the deepest work of God. And, God doesn't do the deepest work in the shallowest part. We need to get our salvation out of the realm of fickle emotions and begin to reckon the Truth of God's Word. We must count on the life of Christ in us day-by-day and moment-by-moment. ~Dr. Adrian Rogers

So…
If we are to be sober-minded women, we are going to have to

I. Feast on the Scriptures – Eph. 4:23, Romans 12:2 (renewing the mind)
II. Filled with the Spirit – Eph. 5
III. Fruit of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance
IV. Function as a Scholar – Be a doer of the Word

Why does a woman's name change when she gets married?

Have you ever wondered where that tradition comes from?
Well, I'm sure there are many explanations out there, but I found a good enough reason. We know that Adam named all the animals, but he also named his wife. First he gave her a creature name, woman, in Gen. 2:23. "And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Then he gave her a personal name, Eve. Genesis 3:20. "And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living." She didn't even have children yet, but God knew that mother would be the highest calling in her life. One may say, "What about the barren? They can't help it." Well, I have known several barren women who have made the best adoptive mothers. Even if they didn't legally adopt, they did in practice. It makes perfect sense that a woman should take the last name of her husband because the first woman was named by her husband.

Ain't Misbehavin'?

The Bible tells us how we should behave.
Ladies, we have been given very specific instructions. The Apostle Paul wrote in Titus 2:1-5, "But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:..." Whoa!!! Wait! Sound Doctrine? It sounds like Paul is not just giving his opinion here! Sound doctrine is something that every christian should live by. Okay, let's see what sound doctrine he is talking about. "...That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."


We are instructed in 1 Timothy 2:11-14, "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression." So we are to be silent rather than teaching or taking leadership over men. In Ephesians 5:22 and Colosians 3:18, the Bible tells us to submit ourselves to our own husbands in the Lord. I understand. I deal with the flesh, too. I have my own struggles with submission from time to time. That doesn't change the Word of God. Submission is something we have to choose for ourselves. We cannot be made to submit. Submission is defined in one dictionary as surrendering power to another.


We women need to realize how much power we have. We have the power to persuade our husbands for good or bad. You know the saying is, "Behind every great man is a great woman." Well, consider the women who used that power for evil." Look at Adam and Eve, Samson and Delilah, Abraham and Sarah (when she persuaded him to have a child with Hagar), Ahab and Jezebel, Ananias and Sapphira and the list goes on.
If we rebel against submission, it is just the same as if we are telling God, "No, no, no, you've got it all wrong." When we don't submit we remove ourselves from the umbrella of protection (our husbands.)


Genesis 3:16 says, "and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." When we look at the context there, we see that this verse is part of the pronouncement of judgement after the original sin. Guess who committed the first human sin, ladies? Eve. And if you or I had been the first woman, we would have done the same. We have that same sin nature in us. 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 says, "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." This silence is in the context of speaking in tongues. Women are not permitted to speak in tongues. If you are of another opinion, read the chapter. Context is key!


The Bible does not say that we cannot sing in church, or give testimony of the Lord's goodness. It simply says that we are not permitted to teach or lead men, and we are not permitted to speak in tongues. All of the redeemed are commanded to praise the Lord. Psalm 150:6 says, "Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD." Psalm 5:11 says, "But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee."


Also, when we don't obey what the scriptures say about our behavior in church, we can mess things up really bad at the house of God. We are not to take leadership. My husband has been a preacher going on 26 years. We have been married for almost 25. In these years of ministry, we have come in contact with many different churches in several different states, some great and some not so great. I am convinced that if the women of the church would practice the principles found in these verses, we would probably seldom hear of a church split or a minister being falsely accused, and we would see the power of God return, power which we so desperately need to reach our generation for Christ. Please, ladies, let's be women of the Word (WOW), loving and living the Word of God in the area of submission. The choice is up to us!